Unwell… week and a bit
This last week I had to spend some time on the road bike racking up the hours and kilometres. I’ve been most of my training by my lonesome self and this week was really tough as you leave your house in pitch darkness facing the early morning chill and wind. It was not fun and for some reason I found myself singing (in your head as one do, come now, everybody does it) Unwell from Matchbox 20.
“All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Feeling like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why
But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be…me
I’m talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they’ve all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I’ve lost my mind”
And so it goes on! Have I lost my mind, riding the Absa Cape Epic and having to go through all this in training, I’m I crazy – riding in the dark, cold and wind by myself and on a freaking road bike!
I really had to dig deep to ride in the dark, cold and wind that was worse than Sunday’s Cycle Tour weather and even deeper on Thursday when I had to do 4 and a half hours with loads of work to be done at the office.
Talking to myself I had to convince myself to hang in there for just a week and bit to get to the start. I’ve come this far in putting in hours and hours of training not to let it slip so close to the start of the Absa Cape Epic. Bite the bullet, dig deep, talk and whisper to yourself than you can do it. Although you are so gatvol (fed up) of getting up early and training (I just want to go out and ride my bike and not do intervals or hill repeats!).
Saying that all the hard work has paid off and Swen definitely got me into great shape, now it’s just to fight the nervous that has crept in and mentally be strong and ready to take on the challenge.
So no heading for a breakdown or being unwell – I’ll just keep on talking to myself one pedal at a time. Yes, I am nervous.
For Nikki – only 9 days to go!